Why Pastors Weep

Some people seem to cry at the “drop of a hat.” Others never, or rarely, shed a tear. There are those who are so maudlin that it can be embarrassing to be in their presence sometimes. They don’t appear to have any control over their emotions. On the other hand, there is a certain type of male who has been erroneously taught that to shed tears is not a masculine thing to do. Unfortunately, these men have stifled their emotions for so long that they cannot react naturally to some situations where the shedding of tears would be quite normal.

As with most things pertaining to the human condition, somewhere between these two extremes—shedding tears for apparently no reason, and the inability to shed tears for any reason—we find an emotionally stable and psychologically healthy individual.

Tear ducts are one of the evidences of our being fearfully and wonderfully made by our Creator-God. God made us with the capacity to shed tears. From the wails of a newborn baby entering the world to the shedding of tears at a grave side—to weep is part of our human condition.

The reasons for which we cry are vast. A little girl hugging her returned lost puppy cries. A father, looking on as his son receives an achievement award, sheds a tear. A mother weeps for joy when the nurse places her newborn child on her breast. A student cries upon discovering he has failed his final exam.

Sprinkled throughout our Holy Scriptures are accounts of a variety of individuals who shed tears for the right reasons (one can shed tears for the wrong reasons: e.g., not getting our selfish way). For example, there was the prophet Jeremiah who wept over the sins of God’s people so often that today we call him “The Weeping Prophet.” There was Hannah, who wanted a child so badly that she wept in the presence of Eli the priest. There was David, who frequently wept, as we know so well from the Psalms. There was the Apostle Paul who wrote about how often he shed tears as he remembered his converts in his prayers. But most movingly of all, there was the Lord Jesus: “As he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it ...”(1) How can we not be moved when reading such an account?

Then, there was Timothy, the overseer of the Ephesian Church. Writing to him from a Roman prison, the Apostle Paul, his spiritual mentor and intimate friend, writes, “I constantly remember you in my prayers night and day, longing to see you, even as I recall your tears …”(2)

Timothy’s tears. It could very well be that what Paul has reference to here was the occasion when he left for Macedonia, leaving Timothy behind. Possibly Timothy was so overcome with emotion at Paul’s departure, that he wept. We cannot be certain of the interpretation.

While this may be a possible interpretation of this passage, I see another possibility. Inasmuch as Timothy had the responsibility of overseeing the Church of Ephesus, could it be that he was shedding tears for reasons other than Paul’s departure? I think so. And many veteran pastors would agree; for faithful pastors know what it means to weep—and weep frequently, if not actual tears, at least in their hearts

Why do pastors weep?

Pastors weep because they care.

Hired hands don’t weep—because they’re hired hands. Shepherds weep—because they’re true shepherds, because they care.

A surgeon who performs surgeries day after day and often several in the same day, has developed a professional detachment from his patients. He protects himself against getting too emotionally involved. After all, the reasoning goes, the human psyche can only absorb so much trauma. And I suppose that is true.

But with the pastor, it is different. It is different because eternal verities and souls are at stake. Real people with real needs require a feeling shepherd as their spiritual overseer. The caring pastor knows what it is to weep with those who weep. He sits where his people sit and feels their sins and their grief and their disappointments and their regrets and their sorrows.

A cold, detached professional may be expert in shuffling papers and meeting deadlines and achieving goals. But only a caring pastor feels deeply enough for his people to weep with them and over them. One doesn’t shed tears for those he has no concern for. A pastor with a shepherd’s heart will weep for his people and with his people because he genuinely cares for them.

Pastors weep over the unsaved.

How can a pastor be considered a man of God if he doesn’t care deeply enough for the lost to shed tears over them? If we believe what we say we believe about the eternal destines of those without a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, how can we not be moved to tears? Or have we changed and reconsidered the doctrine of eternal punishment? Possibly we have unwittingly fallen prey to the insidious doctrine of universalism. Maybe we don’t believe some people are actually going to a place called hell. If that is our belief, then it is no wonder that we don’t weep over the lost.

No, thank God, there are thousands of faithful evangelical pastors who believe that apart from trusting in the Lord Jesus Christ one cannot be saved, and they weep over those they earnestly desire to come to Christ.

Rescue the perishing; Care for the dying;
Snatch them in pity from sin and the grave.
Weep o’er the erring one; Lift up the fallen;
Tell them of Jesus, the Mighty to save.(3)

Pastors weep over deceived people.

A true shepherd doesn’t take the salvation of his people for granted. He realizes that simply because a person has been a church member for 40 years, or on the church board for 25 years, or sat in a church pew most of her life, that this doesn’t equal eternal life.

This pastor is knowledgeable enough in the things of God to know that some of his people are trusting in their baptism, communion observance, church membership and good works instead of in the Lord Jesus Christ for their salvation. He can’t be angry with these self-deceived parishioners if he truly cares for them. No, their blind condition will move him to tears—if not in his pulpit ministry, then in his private intercessions.

When he looks out over his congregation from Sunday to Sunday, he views some of the older members who show no evidence of the life of God in their hearts. (Yes, pastors can tell.) And it breaks his shepherd’s heart. He doesn’t rant and rave at them. He doesn’t scold them week after week. Before he received a shepherd’s heart he used to scold. But he learned from the Great Shepherd that anger does not produce the righteousness of God.

He preaches the Word of God faithfully and lovingly, with a tear-filled heart, hoping their eyes will be opened. He lives will an ever-present ache in his heart.

Pastors weep over careless people.

It is a sad but true church reality—many Christians are living careless lives; and one of the greatest burdens—if not the greatest—the caring pastor carries is the constant weight he feels over his careless sheep.

This carelessness manifests itself in a multitude of ways. With many, they are living with confused priorities. Dwelling as we are in Sodom, the pressures of our godless culture tend to shape the lifestyles of many churchgoers more than the Holy Spirit. Since the average Christian has little experiential knowledge of the indwelling fullness of the Holy Spirit, and knows almost nothing about an intense hunger and thirst for God and His righteousness, I guess we shouldn’t be surprised at the low level of spiritual maturity filling our pews.

If one hasn’t made a full surrender to the Lordship of Jesus Christ, and is not being transformed and renewed in his mind daily, it’s no wonder that his priorities are confused. Clearly, such people will have a greater appetite for pleasure than they will for God and the things of God. To pursue a self-centered lifestyle is natural for them since they are not living a life in the Spirit.

But it breaks many a pastor’s heart. When the pastor sees leaders and members missing a prayer meeting, or a board meeting, or a church service because of confused, worldly priorities—it is cause for weeping. Even though this pastor fully realizes that this is one of the signs of the end-time, nevertheless, he can never rest comfortably knowing some of his sheep love the world more than they love Christ.

Pastors weep with the weeping.

I’ll never forget my first experience of weeping with those who weep. I was a young pastor, and one of my mothers had given birth to a beautiful girl. The physician informed the parents that because of a serious congenital defect the child would not live long.

The entire church family took the matter to the Lord. Although I confided in no one, I believed that the child would live. When I received the devastating news at 2:00 o’clock one morning that the child had died, I was stunned. I dressed quickly and hurried over to the home where the parents and grandparents had gathered. When I entered into the living room, I was struggling to control myself. I wept.

I found out later that though none of the family remembered any of the words of consolation I had offered that black night, they remembered my tears. And the tears formed a lasting bond.

There is so much in our culture that contributes to the desensitization of our humanity. As pastors, we must guard ourselves against becoming insensitive to the needs of our people. It’s true, there are times when a disorderly sheep needs “dehorning.” But let’s not take it out on all the sheep—week after week!

As lay people, let’s make sure that we don’t bring grief to the heart of our shepherd and spiritual overseer. May your pastor be able to say of you that you are a joy to pastor and not a burden. If he sheds tears over you, may it not be because of your carelessness and indifference.

Pastors weep for joy.

Just as there is rejoicing among the angels in Heaven when a sinner comes home to God, a caring pastor often weeps for joy when he sees people come to Christ. Tears of sorrow that were shed over a person’s lost estate, are turned into tears of gratitude when the lost have been found and the blind receive their sight.

Last, but certainly not least . . .

Pastors weep over their own shortcomings.

Pastors differ from their people only in their calling. Though a faithful pastor is deserving of great respect, he, nonetheless, is made of the same “stuff” as his parishioners.

Since this is true, pastors also battle with emotional highs and lows, with discouragements and disappointments, with failures to always be a wise man of God in every situation.

I’m not talking about moral failures of the grossest kind—such men do not belong in the ministry. But in every pastor’s own spiritual pilgrimage—if he’s honest—there will be times when he will shed tears because he was not as gentle and kind as he should have been, not as patient and considerate as he could have been, not as caring and courageous as a situation warranted. Thus he weeps, and when necessary, apologizes.

As the man of God grows in grace and maturity, as he learns to abide in Christ and walk among his people in all humility, he will shed fewer tears because of his own lack.

But the most veteran and godly pastors live with a constant groan in their hearts of wanting more of God’s holiness, wanting more of the mind of Christ, wanting more to be like Jesus. For they fully realize that apart from Christ they are nothing and can do nothing. They have an insatiable appetite for God. This in itself is cause for plenty of tears.

The late English evangelist Leonard Ravenhill recalled a striking encounter he had one day.

“I remember going down High Holborne in London a few years ago.... A little lady was going to the mail box. There she was, very, very stooped and she shakily put her mail into the box; then she turned to go into a building. Somebody asked me, “Do you know who that is?" And I said, "Not the slightest idea.” “That is the widow of Hugh Price Hughes.” At one time the king of the Methodist pulpit in England. His daughter gave us a huge biography of her father. And she said, "When he came back on a Sunday night from the service, if no one had been saved, he would be inconsolable. You couldn't comfort him. He wouldn't eat, he wouldn't drink. He wouldn't even take his long coat off. He threw himself over his bed and he sobbed and he sobbed and he sobbed and said, ‘Why? Why? Why?’”(4)

Yes, caring pastors weep.

1. Luke 19:4, NIV
2. 2 Timothy 1:4, NASB
3. Rescue the Perishing, Fanny Crosby
4. Leonard Ravenhill in Weeping Between the Porch and the Altar