Thoughtfulness

In an age that's so fast-paced: meetings to attend, people to see, calls to make, events to attend, it's so easy to be insensitive to people, to be thoughtless. Things become more important than people; schedules take priority over individuals.

Call it growing in grace or becoming more like Jesus. One thing I've discovered about myself in recent years is this: I'm more thoughtful of others on the one hand, and yet, on the other hand, I still see vast areas in my relationships where I need to be more thoughtful. What about you?

Just this morning I was the recipient of a dear neighbor's thoughtfulness. This 85 year old man phoned me about some shoes of his that didn't quite fit. He said, "Ralph, if you want to, you can come over and try them on." I went right over and, unfortunately, they didn't fit. They were a beautiful pair of wingtip Florsheim Imperials. I thanked him for thinking of me.

Some years ago a businessman was in a hurry to catch a ride on a subway train. Rushing though the terminal to meet his schedule, he accidentally bumped into a little boy who had a puzzle in his hand. The pieces of the puzzle went flying. The gentleman, suddenly had a decision to make: Will I catch my ride or shall I help this boy? He stopped, apologized to the boy, then bent over and helped the lad pick up the pieces. The boy was so shocked by this man's spontaneous act of kindness that he asked the man, "Sir, are you Jesus?"

Surely one aspect of Christ likeness is thoughtfulness (kindness). Paul wrote, "Love . . . is not rude."(1) J. B. Phillips put it in the positive: "Love has good manners."

In this day of increasing incivility, rudeness and insensitivity toward our fellow man, shouldn't we Christians set the example by being people who are characteristically good-mannered and thoughtful? Shouldn't we be cultivating a spirit of thoughtfulness toward the body of Christ as well as toward the world? We can be so thoughtless. I can be so thoughtless.

Paul faced this. Not all of his churches were thoughtful about helping him in his ministry. But the Philippian Church excelled in thoughtfulness. Paul wrote: "not one church shared with me in the matter of giving and receiving, except you only; for even when I was in Thessalonica, you sent me aid again and again when I was in need."(2) What a thoughtful church!

Thoughtfulness cannot be dictated by others. There are no rules, formulae, or comprehensive lists, if followed, would insure acts of thoughtfulness. It comes from within. It's an attitude to be cultivated, a disposition which flows from a God-sensitive, people-sensitive life. The law of love is its fountainhead.

The following questions may be helpful in provoking our thinking as to how thoughtful we are.

Am I in a rush to be the first person in line-any line?

Do I remember the birthdays and anniversaries of significant others?

Do my driving habits reflect a thoughtful attitude toward other drivers?

Do I conduct my business with "please" and "thank you?"

Do I interrupt others when they're speaking?

Do I express appreciation for small acts of kindness?

Do I take the initiative in building friendships?

Am I expressing appreciation toward those who are contributing toward my Christian growth?

The list could go on.

The fundamental question is: Am I so consumed with myself that I fail to show Christian thoughtfulness toward others as I should?

We will never arrive at a place in this life whereby we will always respond perfectly to everyone in every circumstance; however, let's be encouraged. If we are cooperating with our Heavenly Vine dresser, He'll continue to prune away those areas of thoughtlessness until we increasingly reflect the image of Jesus. ". . . every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit."(3)

Pray with me: Father, please keep pruning--I need it. I want to be more thoughtful of others.

Scripture references are taken from the New International Version of the Holy Bible, except as noted

1. 1 Corinthians 13:5, NIV
2. Philippians 4:15b-16, NIV
3. John 15:2b, NKJV